questions...

Y is it tt things always turn out dis way? No matter hw hard i try or hw much i've changed, things will nvr b e same...when one prob is solved, another one arises. it's never ending...but somehw in every relationship, im e one tt nvr wants to gif up or let go...im e persistent one...i realised tt no matter how nice i am or hw gd i treat ppl, i'll always end up at e losing end...

i can nvr run away frm losin...it juz follows me wherever i go...is it me or is it dem? i've toned dwn practically all e negativeness in me...b it my sarcasm, ego & even my temper...things i wld nvr even do fer my parents, i've done fer u...i did all dis fer u but u nvr seem to understand xcept fer tt tym recently wen u came over late at nite under my void deck...u still came even though i told u countless tyms i didnt wanna c u...but still i let u in...i can nvr ever bear to let u wait fer me unlyk all those tyms i waited fer u...

i fer one noes hw it feels to wait fer sumone but dey nvr came dwn in e end...wen u came, it was e happiest day i've had in a long tym...u chased me...u dunno noe hw long i waited for tt day to cme...but nw things haf reverted back to e way it was b4...u still ignore my calls & smses when i shld b e one hu's doin tt...

in every relationship, i tried to change accordin to their wants but lyk every one of em, im always e one feelin e hurt...yes i noe u r feelin it too but unlyk u, i cant forget things easily & move on...i hate being a burden to my frens whenever i wan to tell em abt my probs...

love doesnt cme easily fer me...although i dun treasure it sumtyms or quarrel wit u, i will nvr make decisions such as breakin up...to me, as long as i still love u & as long as i can salvage it, i'll kip on tryin & nt gif up...no matter hw angry i am at u or hw i hated e things u've done, my heart can nvr bear to say "i want a break up"

sayin those words wld mean tt i no longer haf any feelings fer u & nt bother u ever agen or tt u've cheated on me...but u, e person i fell so in love wit, will nvr do tt to me...at least u made me blieve so...up until nw, i still blieve in e quote i go by yrs ago, back wen i was in sec sch...

"its better to want them & nt haf them, then havin them & nt want them"...i feel tt even afta all those yrs wen i've suffered so much pain for e 1st tym, i still feel it nw...but wit a diff person...havin to b able to onli look & befriend sumone u lyk is far better den bein wit them & break up sum tym afta...e hurt is so much more worst than havin to b their fren & nothin else...

i guess e quote is gonna stay wit me fer a v long tym...it means so much in juz one sentence & it xplains everythin abt hw i feel & hw i haf been feelin...