Superficial

wohoo my sis gt featured in e malay paper on sunday...am so proud of her...hahaha...but little tt i noe tt she's leavin dis thurs...so i smsed her yest wonderin if i cld c her b4 she leaves...damn im so gonna miz her but cme to tink of it she's onli dere fer lyk a wk...stupid ryte? i tot she's gonna b dere lyk fer a mth or so...oh well hahaha...
anyway here was hw our sms conversation went...

m3: hey looks lyk i wun get to c u b4 u fly off on thurs
h3r: dats y sob2...mish u
m3: wat tym is ur flight?
h3r: 4am
m3: takin budget air huh?
h3r: ya tiger grr...haha <---tryin to act cute la my sis
m3: err...ok hahaha...ur family sendin u off?
h3r: initially no but since it appeared in e paper dey dcided to...hahaha <---damn fucked ryte my family
m3: i dun tink its funny ar...superficial
h3r: haiz...u noe em ryte?
m3: ya...tt saddens me n makes me hate em even more
h3r: forget it la...i seem lyk im happy but it took me v long 2 make em blieve in me <---fucked up
m3: no worries sis fer sure i blieve in u n i'll always will
h3r: muax...love u
m3: love u too...i seriously wanna mit u b4 u fly off

kk i tink its gettin too draggy...so end of story im meetin her later today afta break fast woohoo!!! ok nw e point of dis entry is wat kind of fucked up family e both of us haf...fuckin superficial ryte?!!! i mean ur daughter is flyin off to laos n u didnt even tink of sendin her off...

eh cme on its laos lei nt m'sia...even though if its onli fer a wk didnt u ever tink tt u shld at least c her b4 she leaves...wat if sumthin happens? (touchwood) onli den u r goin to regret n grieve abt it? fuckin too late ryte?! wah i seriously cant take it wen i heard dis...its too much...hw much it hurts to hear ur family doin tt to u...

wtf! my parents sent me off lyk 2am in e morn when i went to thailand n dey still hafta to go werk afta tt...n nw juz cuz she appeared in e god damn paper den u wanna send off...wat kind of fucked up family u guys r...i seriously feel sad fer my sis...she cant do anythin abt it

im seriously thankin god fer watever has happened between me n dem...if nt i'll b sufferin juz lyk my sis...dis kinda family is nt worth havin...i tink it was better fer dem nt to send her off rather den sendin her off cuz of fame...i can tell u tt dere wun b any reporters la on tt day askin u hw do u feel abt ur daughter goin to laos to do community service...even if dere is ur nt qualified to answer

i was tinkin of sendin her off if her family is nt but dey r but fer e wrong reasons...dey r damn lucky i wun b dere...fucked ur parents...god i seriously hate dem so much more ryte nw...i tink e conflict between me n dem is definitely gonna take longer den dis to resolve(or mayb nvr)...

wateva e matter...i hope my sis has a safe flight dere n safe flight hme...im so gonna miz u sis...do take care of urself n no matter wat happens im always here fer u...love u sis =)

could u like...disappear...forever?

wat seems to b e problem? we r over & done wit years ago...u r gettin engaged & i haf my lyf to live...even nw u nvr seem to stay outta my lyf...its always one thing afta another...at e moment its ur stupid bill tt i hafta pay...cuz of dis ppl muz b tinkin if im still desperately holdin on...fortunately I AM NOT!

we r thru...so to clear it up i am onli payin e god damn bill is cuz its under my freakin name & u refused to take responsibility...if i dun pay it im e one gonna get charged in court nt u...so cuz of ur freakin mess im e one hu has to slog my guts out werkin juz to pay off ur $600+ debts & u still owe me lyk $250 on top of tt...

ppl r askin me y am i still doin dis...its nt my bill & i didnt use it...i haf no choice since its under my name...dis is e best solution i can cme up wit...payin off e debt fer u...its ok ppl, money can always b earned easily...dis is e onli thing tt still connects us to one another...once dis is over dere's no more connection between us...

so afta all dis crap u put me thru...u still wan me to wish u on ur freakin b'dae??? pls la...get it in ur head things will nvr b e same between us...wat's dis abt "at least i had e courtesy to wish u...its ok la i wun beg fer sumone to wish me"...hello i nvr asked u to wish me ok...

ya n one more thing...u r gettin engaged...SO??? wtf do u xpect me to say to u? im so happy fer u or sumthin lyk tt? fat hope! u wanna get engage go la...it has nothin to do wit me...e faster u get married e happier i am...so go get engaged, get married, get fucked & most importantly GET OFF MY BACK!

it seriously doesnt pay to b kind to ppl lyk u...so lyk e title say...could u like...disappear...forever???

i love u "Comat"

afta onli 4 mths 3 days, comat has left...wen i initially heard e news frm my mom i was emotionless but afta tinkin of hw he played wit me, chasin afta my leg i suddenly started cryin...i'm gonna miz him alot...

it was reli cute hw he always cuddle up at my legs n end up chasin afta my leg lyk sum kind of toy...nw wit him gone im onli left wit 2 kittens which im gonna dote on even more nw...n give all my attention to...

e other 2 seem to b lookin fer their brother...although we might nt noe their feelings, i bet dey muz feel sad...it feels kinda weird comin hme to c onli e 2 of em runnin arnd e hse...it was onli dis morn he started vomittin at my door (i noe tt's nt a nice last memory of him) and he was gone in e afternoon...

i seriously still feel sad...im tearin as we speak...u can call it denial but i've always blieved tt all animals go to heaven n i hope u r comat...i reli miz u alot oreadi...may u rest in peace n we'll always love n rmb u...

m3

I dunno y but dis song still brings back memories but no longer e memories tt it used to hold...nw installed wit new memories n of a diff person...although e song has no link to e person but sumhw i juz feel lyk listenin to it...

seriously e quote "It's better to want sumone & nt haf 'em then having 'em & nt want 'em" still applies to me afta so many years...i guess its juz e way i am...i dunno fer hw long but apparently its sumthin tt u cant stand & sumthin i cant change...

"Gone"

There's a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away
Left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change

Was it something I said
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
But right now..

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..

You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..
You're gone..
You're...

I don't wanna make excuses, baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone
But if there's something that I could do
Won't you please let me know?
Time is passing so slowly now
Guess that's my life without you
and maybe I could change my every day
But baby I don't want to

So I'll just hang around
and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do

Yeeaah....

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I Drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone...you're gone.. you're....
Gone

Ohhh...

Oh what'll I do
If I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be
Now that we are apart
Am I still in your heart?
Baby why don't you see?
That I need you here with me
Oohhh...

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

Been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone
Gone
You're gone..

But the truth remains
You're....